The Rise and Fall of the Third Space

The Rise and Fall of the Third Space

Let me define what a third space is at the outset, so we're all on the same page. A third space refers to places that are exclusively tied to male or female activities. For example, women's third spaces might include hair salons, getting nails done, or shopping with friends at Target.

So? What is the third space? Let me first define what the first and second spaces are. The first space is where you find yourself most emotionally connected, such as your family, community, school system, and church. These are spaces that you frequent and dedicate much of your time to. I would consider this your first space.

The second space would be your workplace, where you may have great friends who fall into the first space, but most of the time it is a space of acquaintances. It is where you go to labor, do your job, get paid, and then return to your first space to find rest and peace among those who are closest to you.

Now we come to the third space. This could be considered a challenging space, where you are pushed to examine your views by men who are likely part of the first two spaces. We can think of this space as a kind of intellectual manly think tank where nothing is off the table unless it violates God's law. Conversations should be deep, real, and sometimes even harsh. Men often cannot have these discussions in the first two spaces because they might be seen as too intense. What I am suggesting is that there needs to be a rebirth of this third space. I would argue that these spaces were once pubs, but now pubs have turned into clubs due to significant influence from women.

 I would say this is based on experience rather than data. I have traveled across the states, meeting men of various creeds, political views, and religions in cigar lounges. From my experiences, I have had the most meaningful conversations in these lounges. I've debated topics that are off-limits on social media platforms. I've formed lasting friendships and engaged in many Christ-centered conversations over a fine cigar. To make clarification you can do this over a burger, coffee, or any other thing that can be inserted here. To me, there is something special about a cigar lounge. It is a place of wit, character, and class. It brings a standard to conversation that burgers and coffee never have for me. It is truly a space where men can be men. I believe there is a rebirth of third spaces happening all across the country.

Now, let's consider men's third spaces. Historically, these might have included pubs, but over time,  with the addition of women in that space, many pubs have evolved into clubs. Today, we can think of men's third spaces as cigar lounges, golf courses or any MMA mat.

I would argue that these men's third spaces began to decline slowly after World War II. To clarify, women who had to leave their homes and work in factories to support the war effort were crucial to preserving and securing our country from the enemies of World War II. This acknowledgment is not meant to diminish their essential contributions but to highlight the connection to the gradual decline of traditional men's third spaces.

The Post-War Era brought significant cultural shifts. Women entered the workforce in unprecedented numbers, leaving their homes and allowing government education to play a key role in raising their children. A part of our culture gradually faded during these years, and I do not think it was solely due to women. I believe it was due to weak men who stopped fighting for this space and allowed it to be influenced by their wives. This is not to say that if John has a problem with drinking, his wife should not rebuke him and seek help from her local church. Rather, it is to say that men often love women and sometimes give up key things at the expense of the future. I truly believe that the loss of the third space was one of the death blows to masculinity in America.

This cultural shifts did occurred, and I can point to today and say that these changes have not necessarily been beneficial from a cultural standpoint. I am not here to debate women's right to vote or their participation in the workforce. Rather, we can observe that men may excel in some jobs while women excel in others. I will try to conclude this discussion as clearly as possible, but it’s important to clarify and consider the historical context before speaking out of ignorance or overlooking the facts.

These cultural shifts have taken place, and now, as men, we are searching for ways to recreate that "manly third space" where you can almost feel the testosterone and rebellion in the air. I say this somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but I hope you understand my sentiment.

I believe that with the rise of Third Wave Feminism, there is a renewed interest among men in coming together to form these third spaces. At 1689 Cigars, we aim to be such an outlet—a place where men can discuss politics, religion, business, conspiracies, how to love their families, and even ponder what might happen if our country faces significant turmoil, or how we handle the dude at GameStop yelling its Ma'am when its clearly not.

We need these spaces again, and while it doesn’t have to be a cigar lounge, in our case, it will be. Understanding that God has placed us here for this time, we must be ready and available, like our founding fathers, to discuss the topics I’ve mentioned above. By building upon the core values of Christ's teachings, these third spaces can foster flourishing businesses, strengthen families, and grow friendships. In all we do, may we bring glory to God.

Disclaimer: I am not advocating for the overuse of tobacco or alcohol. What I am advocating for is the rebirth of the third space—the manly space where you can feel the testosterone oozing from the walls